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10 Ways Cool Kind Kids Reject Bullying

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10 Ways Cool Kind Kids Reject Bullying

1.  Cool Kind Kids...Stand up for a friend who is being bullied.  When a friend is being bullied is a good time to remember The Golden Rule - "Treat others the way that you want to be treated."  If you were the one being bullied, would you want your friends to stand there and watch and do nothing?  Get some other friends together and tell the bully to stop.  Be a leader.  Research is showing that in bullying situations, 57% of the time the bullying stops within 10 seconds when someone intervenes.  Be that someone!  Stand up, speak up, get help, and be UPSTANDERS!

2.  Cool Kind Kids...Refuse to be a part of cliques and gangs.  What's most common about cliques and gangs?  They exclude people; saying, "you're not pretty enough, tough enough, cool enough, bad enough" or whatever their criteria is for that exclusive group.  Cliques are known for hurting feelings, while gangs are known for the potential for violence.  Both can lead to bullying, so avoid them.  Instead look for friends who are accepting, tolerant, kind, and compassionate who include everyone.

3.  Cool Kind Kids...Are friends to kids who are bullied.  Here's a need for The Golden Rule again.  Show the bullied kids that no-one believes what the bully says about them.  Assure them that they have plenty of friends who will stick up for them.  A bullied kid may often be a weak or shy kid, so these are kids who need to know that they are accepted and included just the way that they are.  Empathy is needed here so kids can put themselves in the bullied child's shoes, and relate to what that child is feeling and experiencing.

4.  Cool Kind Kids...Know that getting help if someone is being bullied is not tattling.   Again, The Golden Rule applies here.  You'd want someone to get help for you if you were being bullied, right?  There is bad tattling and good tattling.  Bad tattling is trying to get someone in trouble, or trying to make yourself look better.  Those are rude behaviors that can lead to bullying.  Good tattling is when someone is in trouble or about to get into trouble that would harm them physically, or emotionally.  This is called reporting rather than tattling, and shows care and concern for another person.  

5.  Cool Kind Kids...Try to be a friend to a child who bullies.  This may not be easy, but it shows that you are kind, and have compassion for someone who may not be behaving in a positive way.  In this case it's important to realize that the child who is bullying may have issues you aren't aware of, such as problems at home.  Everyone needs a friend, and sometimes that one friend is the catalyst for changing negative behavior into positive behavior, which can lead to more healthy relationships.

6.  Cool Kind Kids...Don't participate in rude behaviors that hurt or offend others.  Rude behaviors include teasing, staring and ignoring.  They include picking on or calling someone names.  They also include excluding; incapable of being accepting and tolerant.  All of these can lead to bullying, which in turn can escalate into violence.  It's important to think about what you are going to say, do, or post before you do so.  Ask yourself if you would be hurt or offended by what you were planning to do, say, or post?  Then ask yourself if your parents would be proud of you if they knew what you said, did, or posted?

7.  Cool Kind Kids...Believe it's cool to be kind.  Kids today are bombarded in school, their neighborhoods, and the media with the message that mean, rude, and disrespectful behavior is cool.  We want our children to learn that kind, caring, and respectful behavior is cool.  Kids are tired of the bullying, want to see it end, but don't know how.  They will be able to see that kindness, caring, and compassion for others make everyone feel good and accepted.  And will see that they will have more friends; true friends who believe that because they are kind, they are therefore cool.

8.  Cool Kind Kids...Don't think that watching someone being bullied is cool.  Bullying is cruel, not cool.  Someone being hurt either physically or emotionally is not kind or cool.  Bullying is the way some kids exert power over other kids.  Refuse to accept this as okay behavior.  Speak up rather than standing by quietly.  Be the voice for every bullied child.  You will find that you have more friends.  Be the example for kids to look up to.

9.  Cool Kind Kids...Know that bullying is the ultimate in uncool.  Our children have been getting an erroneous message for a long time now; that bullying is cool.  It's the responsibility of parents, educators, and the responsible media to change that message so kids learn that they will only be cool when they are kind, caring, and accepting.  If more stringent outcomes or consequences for bullying behavior were instituted, by both schools and parents, we may see a decline in this attitude that bullying is cool.

10.  Cool Kind Kids...Believe that "The kind kid is the cool kid, not the bully."  So how do we teach kids to be kind?  We start at young ages with social skills training so they learn positive ways to relate to others.  Bullying is now starting in preschool, as young as age three, so this training has to begin at home.  Kids will naturally gravitate to the kind, nice, polite kid, rather than the mean, rude, obnoxious one.  Kindness is a key to establishing healthy relationships with peers so their daycare and school experiences will be positive.  

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