Loading... Please wait...

Blog - social skills

Making the Case for Social Skills to Combat Bullying

Posted by

Making the Case for Social Skills to Combat Bullying

Bullying today has reached epidemic proportions, no matter where we are in civilized society. Many of the laws, policies, programs, and agendas designed to deal with or prevent bullying are not working.

Let’s explore some common truths about our society. I am sure that all of you have experienced rudeness at some time. Perhaps you encountered road rage on a super highway or your small town street. Or, maybe you had a meal in a nice restaurant ruined by a child running around while his parents were oblivious to his behavior. Then there is the obnoxious parent screaming at (and embarrassing) their own child, at a game that is supposed to be fun.

We wonder what happened to kids’ manners today. Maybe we should also wonder what happened to the manners and social skills of adults. Numerous studies over the last 20 or so years have reported that nearly 90% of us (in the US) consider rudeness a serious problem in our society. I’m sure you would agree with that. The worst of rudeness is bullying and violence, which are issues of great concern to kids, parents, educators, and community leaders. School bullying is so prevalent that all 50 US states now have legislation designed to deal with these issues.

I have always told students that there is good news and bad news about manners and social skills (which are just socially correct behavior.) The good news is that if they stay in their rooms 24/7, they won’t have to know any “manners stuff.” The bad news is if they come out of their rooms, they will have to know how to get along with others.

Considering that nearly 90% of us in the US, consider rudeness a serious problem in our society, and that 50 US states now have legislation requiring schools to deal with bullying and violence, it seems that we need to rethink the importance of manners and social skills training.

I have always believed that good manners contribute to a more caring, respectful, and successful life. When most people hear the term “good manners,” they assume you mean table manners or dining skills. But manners and social skills are much more than dining; they teach us how to behave in an acceptable way wherever we go and whatever we are doing.

If a child hasn’t been taught to play fair, share, and to get along with others, he is at a distinct disadvantage when entering school. He may suffer from lack of friends, ridicule, delayed learning, and other negatives. If a high school girl has never been taught to eat in a manner that doesn’t gross out others, she may not be invited to a dance or party, or be ostracized by peers. Later, when entering the job market, the candidate with good social skills will secure the job over candidates with equal qualifications, but lacking in social skills. So, teaching children social skills is important.

Manners or etiquette rules have come into being because of a need for them. Some, such as the handshake, have been around a long time. Others, such as where to park your carriage (and what to do with the horse) when visiting someone’s home, disappear because times have changed. Now we have Netiquette, which is Internet Etiquette, or how to use the Internet so you don’t offend anyone and everyone is friendly and can get along.

Since table manners are what most people think manners are all about, we often think about the formal times in our past. Those formal times have caused many people to think etiquette is elitist; only for rich people, and that those rich people made up all the rules. So, if you aren’t going where rich people go, who needs them?

Manners and etiquette have gotten a bum rap over the last 30-40 years. “They keep me from being myself.” “They spoil my fun.” “Who cares if I have good manners?” “So what if I don’t teach my kids this stuff, I didn’t learn it and I’m fine.” One of the biggest myths about manners is that they don’t matter.

Our children need manners and social skills training, and they need it at a young age. Equipping them with social skills tools will help them reject bullying. Watch out for positive behavior changes; they really want to know how to do the right thing, be kind and respectful, please the adults in their lives, and have more friends.

(C) Cool Kind Kid

FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - September 4 - September 10, 2017 [In case you missed a few.]

TANNER'S TUESDAY TIPSI know some kids who are scared to go to school because they are afraid they might be bullied. I try to encourage them and stand up for them when I see a kid who bullies approaching them. I even get some other friends to stand [...]

Read More »


FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - August 28- September 3, 2017 [In case you missed a few.]

ANTI-BULLYING TIPS BY BARBARA Whether going to school or daycare, kids are going to encounter other kids who don't look like them. Prepare them early by introducing them to neighbors who are of different races, ethnicities, or religions. Stress that we are all the same on the [...]

Read More »


FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - July 31 - August 6, 2017 [In case you missed a few.]

ANTI-BULLYING TIPS FROM BARBARA Not all kids who bully are big. Sometimes the smallest, shyest kids can be the ones doing the most damage to others either in person or on social media. Encourage your kids to not judge someone until they get to know them. [...]

Read More »


FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - June 26 - July 2, 2017 [In cased you missed a few.]

SOCIAL SKILLS TIPS BY BARBARAThough kids can't be happy-go-lucky all of the time, there is a line where being miserable and disagreeable is going to influence friendships in a negative way. Encourage your kids to work through problems with peers. At Cool Kind Kid we call this: [...]

Read More »


Getting Along with Friends

In my last blog post, I wrote about bullying and how it affects friendships.  I introduced one of our fun characters, Fabulously Fun Friend Francie and her Friendship Facts.  Francie is a character that everyone loves because she is kind, caring, and respectful.  She stands up for friends who are being teased, picked on, or [...]

Read More »


FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - June 11 - June 18, 2017 [In case you missed some posts.]

SOCIAL SKILLS TIPS FROM BARBARAAn easy introduction for kids to learn is, "Hello, I'm Blake, what's your name?" The other responds with, "I'm Jake, it's nice to meet you." Then they can start talking by asking how they are, what class they're in, or what sports [...]

Read More »


Bullying and How it Affects Friendships

With bullying being the #2 epidemic in the US today, I'm wondering what affect it has had on friendships. Are kids getting along better or worse?  Are they more tolerant of others and their behavior or not?  Are they aware of the need for kindness and empathy in their relationships with peers?  These are questions [...]

Read More »


FACEBOOK POST REVIEW - May 29 - June 4, 2017 [In case you missed some posts.]

SOCIAL SKILLS TIPS FROM BARBARATeach your kids early to meet and greet friends who come to visit. Even a three-year-old can shake hands; one, two, three shakes, no more. Remind them to stand, look the person in the eye, smile and speak clearly. This early training gives [...]

Read More »


Why we Need Manners and Social Skills Training for our Children

Bullying is our number 2 epidemic.  It is starting in preschool, as young as age three.  Our children are going to daycare, preschool, and other babysitting or learning environments at younger ages than in previous generations.  Many are not going into these places with the social skills they need to get along with other children. [...]

Read More »



Sign up to our newsletter

Recent Updates